Just a bundle of nerves

I feel awful. Stressed. Scared about doing my homework, because I know it will have me panicking and crying. It's hard to put myself through it all, my instinct is to run away as fast as I can, but instead I have to force myself to go through it, look at the videos, have that intense feeling of fear and keep doing it. My sleep is bad, I wake up every hour listening for sounds, my heart beating so fast. This is probably the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Here and now and constantly.

My hopes of having gone from writing only to my secret little group - to writing it all out in the open - is to be part of the movement to stop the stigma around mental illnesses. I so hope that this blog will find it's way in to other people with specific phobias who want to do something to change it around. Here's to us!