How to be broken by being ignored at work

my bosses have been working so hard to break me down. I am feeling that they've succeeded. I can't do it anymore. My self confidence has never been this low before. Over a year has gone by, and I still have no work assignments, nor do I have a place to be (a desk or whatever) I go in, I go out. I've done nothing. I have had so many meetings with the boss who has promised the same thing each time which she then has retracted. I have had my union there. I have had our union rep there. I have had work-mates sitting in. Nothing has worked. I've asked and re-asked if my boss want to get rid of me, to which she say no, with that questioning face.. I've asked for the odd jobs here and there, and sometimes I get an okay, mostly not. It stresses me so much to think about it, or be there, that I can't get anything done anymore. I stay at home because I can't face another day at work, doing nothing, when the rest of the staff is busy doing important stuff. I could be doing important stuff too, but the boss won't let me. I am totally at a loss, and I have no choice than trying again and again and fail and fail. I have no self worth anymore. It's as if my boss just want me to disappear and if she ignores me - I'm not there. I constantly feel ashamed that I don't do anything, and that I am away home more than I am there. The angst keep building up and eventually I won't be able to get out of bed. Every day you see, I get up, I shower, and I get dressed, ready to go to work, and instead I find myself in bed sobbing, or just looking at the ceiling with this terrible dread inside. I can't quit because there is no possibility for social service money. I can't seem to get other jobs, probably because I don't know how I can do it, seeing as I have no one to give me a good reference to any new work places. And, this is crazy, when I finally get a small job to do, for anyone, like a mini-boss - I feel so small that I don't dare to do them because I know that I will fail. I just know it. Sorry about this long and very personal post. It needed to come out in the open.