Procrastinating

"I could be you. You could be me. I I I could be you you, and you you you could be me. I I I etc."

Yeah, singing along to Alice Russel.

Been cleaning house. Cooking a lot. Had a friend over for dinner. Cleaned some more. Sorted out my clothes cupboard.

Dancing a bit.

Cleaned my bathroom.

Looked for, and found, lots of candles and cozy stuff. Found and put the Christmas things around my flat. (this has been something I haven't done in a crazy amount of years..) Little Santa's spread around everywhere. I've written long letters to pay-pal. To my social worker. And by long, I mean epic stories... Feelings I have, feelings I haven't and things I want to do with my life. In general just hanging out with my fingers on the keyboard. Listened intensely to musics and checking the lyrics out. Posted a lot of things on my Facebook wall, and loads more in various groups. Written to papers and magazines about this and that. Bought Christmas-gifts that are good for the planet. Two of them. I have a lot of money, all of a sudden, due to my family and friends amazing willingness to give me when I am completely out. I have been overwhelmed. I have been embarrassed by this need of mine. The idea of being that person.. the poor one, the one the others can help out, like a little Oliver Twist, with black hands from all the chimney sweeping.

Most of all, I've been worried about my tooth problem. I can't believe that I will be looking like an old junkie in just a few days time, and I will never be able to smile or laugh again. But keeping busy and thinking is a good combination perhaps. Taking a couple of calming down pills do it too. I am not taking many, but a few, just to get over the worst.

It's called: procrastinating.

(and also living life...)

What I haven't done is my homework. Not one single bit of it. I was supposed to go on the tube, daily or at least every second day.

I was supposed to look at scary movies of wild city rats.

I was supposed to write a story, fiction, from a rats point of view.

But instead. procrastination.

I love the sound of that word when you say it out loud, slowly. Proooocraasstiiiinaaatiooooonnn. Yes.

So here we go. Lets try out a little story of a rat.

Hey I am a rat.

Hello. I am Ratty. I live in a home with 299 other rats. We're sort of a family, but no one knows who's kids are who's. We have a lot of kids. Me myself had a few last month, and the month before, and then I'll have some tomorrow. It's not as if I have to teach them to read or write or something about the world politics. Nope, not at all. I just need them to know that they are rats. And that they'll live for about two years and when they get weak the kids and sisters and brothers will eat them. Yummy. We like rat-meat. We also like to eat things like cement, and gravel. And things that people throw out. People are so stupid, they don't know that they really should eat every little bit of their food, just like how we do it. We never leave a meal half eaten. It would be the biggest sin we could do. Our Rat God would punish us right away. And let us be eaten by the other rats sooner than you could spell rat. We can't spell by the way, so we'd just say Peeep, and you no longer exist.

We haven't got long memories, but somehow, we always survive. We like to live hard and fast, and we love to go places and take it over. People would call that to squat an area. Or revolutionize it, by causing agony to the other animals (including humans) inhabiting the area.

We love to have our homes deep under the surface and to have several ways of getting in and out. Inside our hole, we're warm and safe. Outside, we hunt. I love hunting. I love it when those stupid people think that they're feeding those retched birds, that they seem to like so much, but the food goes straight into my belly, and the poop falling out of my bum I eat too. It's a natural circle. I just like eating, a lot. And having babies, because that means that I can have sex with anyone I want. I want them all. It's just the way we're brought up, don't look at me like that!

One day, not very long ago, I went to visit a few of my kids, who have moved down a bit in life, to say the least. I mean, I am not one to judge, but living in the sewers seem to be a hard life. I mean, I like a bit sun in my face, and the wind in my fur. (Yes, I am a bit too proud of my fur, that I take care of meticulously, and I do get teased a bit because of this, but I don't mind, I just bite them a bit and they'll shut up)

So, went to see my kids. Had to crawl down a sewer-pipe, for a little bit. I am already pretty used to darkness from being down my house. But now it was pitch black. I liked the smell a lot! It was a musty sort of smell, that only exists in the sewers. It's one of those smells that is hard to describe to someone who hasn't smelled it before, but it's really good, it makes me hungry like hell!

So, by my excellent smelling sense, I located the nearest family, but it wasn't anyone there that I knew, so I moved on rather hastily, due to the fact that they'd eat me if I hung around to long.

So I carefully moved forward. For a while I completely lost my heading, and went up a pipe far up and suddenly it was light again, and the water cold and clean. I looked around and it was so white it almost hurt my eyes. I had to jump a little bit to get to the bit hole ahead. I have never seen anything like it! Bright colors and clean surfaces. A huge fluffy thing on the floor. I just had to jump down on it, and when I first felt the softness on my feet, I almost fainted. Still, I couldn't stay for a chat, but had to go back down to find that family of mine. I felt some sort of urgency, but why, I can't say. I jumped back in to the hole, and went back the same way but down this time. Darkness and that good smell again. When I got as far down as I could go, I saw plenty to eat, so I took some time out to chew on the brown stuff that kept on floating by. Oh it was like heaven in my mouth. It was like a revelation of new sensation, a brown entity of worship.

But, after I filled my belly, I kept going. I felt sure that I was on the right path now, my nose so good at smelling family. Then, suddenly, I saw one of them. It was family! I think perhaps an uncle, or a grandmother or something. I was over-joyed, and I peeped out my happiness, loudly and clearly.

A few of them came towards me. And then it went black.

The end.