Evil sleep

Sleep is important to the soul, everyone knows this. I do need to sleep a lot to feel good, nine hours is okay, sometimes ten.

But the problem is the dreams. I've always dreamt a lot, but recently it's all bad and evil. I dream of all my teeth being lose in my mouth, falling out, in pieces. I dream of being chased in dark alleys and I dream of death and destruction. I dream of people close to me dying or being very hurt.

Every night I dread the moment when I have to stop reading/watching the telly, and actually go to sleep. Every night I wake up constantly from sleeping on the edge. I wake up with my heart in my throat, terrified and horrified.

I set the alarm every day, but late, as I do need to sleep sometime, but I do wish I could get myself to sleep earlier than 3am or later. I do sometimes take a sleeping pill, but I do try to avoid them now during my therapy. The therapy that is going on day and night, for as long as it takes.

I am so sick and tired of being me in this body and this mind. It's just so tiresome.