Today's therapy is postponed.
I know it's wrong in so many ways, but I feel relieved that todays therapy got cancelled. Today was the day when I would have to start looking at photos of rats. The worry I feel for this is crazy. But it's thursday now instead. I didn't cancel, it was because my therapist is sick (which I don't like at all of course!)
Anyway, woke up and found this article, "5 Reasons Forgiveness Does Not Work" on the webpage http://psychcentral.com/ where there are great blogs, articles and information on all types of disorders and illnesses of the mind.
I particularly liked this:
"The Process of True Forgiveness
The offender realizes he (or she) has hurt you, perhaps because you have told him; perhaps because he notices your anger or hurt.
A discussion and/or acknowledgment takes place, in which the offender takes accountability for her actions.
The offender genuinely feels guilt or remorse, and apologizes for his hurtful actions.
An emotional meeting of the minds takes place in which you feel the remorse and accountability of the offender.
This emotional meeting of the minds allows you to truly forgive your offender. All is not forgotten, but a mutual understanding has relieved you both."
It is completely impossible to forgive if the perpertrator doesn't belive that he has done anything wrong. Or try to figure out what he/she has done at least.
Also, later in the article, the last bit was:
"The best revenge is living well."
It took me ages to get to a point where it doesn't get to me anymore. But I am working on the "living well" situation! I will get there, watch this space!
