Motivation....?

I find it hard to motivate myself to do anything at all. Eat, shower, get up from bed, live. I feel ugly and wrong and big and stale. Yeah, stale. Tomorrow is therapy again. Two sessions in one. I haven't been outside my house or seen anyone or talked to anyone apart from my mom once or twice, and emails from Liam. That's all human interaction I have been part of. I don't see a future for myself at the moment. It's just hard and horrible and I wish I could just departure. But I wont.